Thoughts on my stories.

Do you have a story for a manga you'd like to share or talk about? Then this is the place to be.

Moderators: FirstBorn, Zephio, Ceta

Post Reply
austinino12
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 11:26 pm

Thoughts on my stories.

Post by austinino12 » Thu Nov 08, 2012 11:27 pm

Story one: Master Of Hunters
a man who has been a hunter all his life is forced to compete in a new game that the government has to offer the “Master Of Hunters”. the hunters are put into an abandoned city which contains animals exposed to radiation and mutagens. the winner is the last hunters left after 2 weeks. the prize is 1 billion dollars, the trick is the prize is split among the hunters who are still alive after that 2 weeks. so the main character struggles to survive in this terrible city where the “Master of Hunters” game takes place.

Main character
Name: Darius (Last name TBD)
Hair: brown and shaggy not too long not too short
Body: he is tall and strong but not super jacked he has spent his whole life in the wilderness so he has a scar or something on his face.
personality: Darius is Calm and relaxed he has spent his whole life in the wilderness and is very comfortable there. he is smart and strong headed being able to solve problems and work his way out of a sinch quickly ( sort of like a Hunterxhunter type fight.)


There are more characters and plot to come but i would like to see what others have to say about it.

Second Story
Name: Cloned ( subject to Change)
Plot: when a Dante is arrested for a crime he didn't commit he is sentenced to 25 years. put in a cell with a man in the same position as him the man reveals that it is a the reason behind this is that he has been cloned and that clone is committing crimes. After Dante tries to tell the prison warden what has happened obviously nobody believes him. so the two plan to break out, after the break out the two try to find out who has done this to them while they are on the run from police and clones.

3rd Story
Name: Puppet
Story: when a Teenage boy is murdered he wakes up in a dark room on a medical bed with a long scar down his chest. when he leaves the room he comes in contact with a voice that comes from behind the chair in front of him, he is told by the voice you are now my puppet and you will do as i say. if you don't you and your family will die, after saying this the one of the many computer monitors in front of him turns on showing a live stream from inside his house, he sees his sister. Later that night he goes to home not telling anybody about what happened when he goes to sleep he has strange dreams about murdering people when he wakes up the next day there is news of a murder in town. the Stroy switches between this boy and a Police chief and his partner investigating the murders.

MilesStar
Posts: 298
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:54 pm
Location: America

Re: Thoughts on my stories.

Post by MilesStar » Sun Nov 25, 2012 10:50 pm

This story sounds interesting. Like Hungry Games meet Monster Hunter. Instead of killing each other, you have the hunters fighting animals. And so far your story lines seem good. You should write the first chapter so we can get a good idea of how your story will unfold, like a teaser.

User avatar
Zephio
MWS moderator
Posts: 829
Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2005 2:26 am

Re: Thoughts on my stories.

Post by Zephio » Mon Nov 26, 2012 9:51 pm

I don't have too too much time to comment on every story right now, but here's my thoughts about the first story.

I like that you started writing about a character, rather than just an idea about a plot. The other 2 stories aren't stories yet, they are just ideas. The first story is farther along. It'd stick with that one.

I like that you added Darius liking to problem solve. I think that the story is dangerously close to Battle Royale and Hunger Games, but you can make it your own story and very interesting if you focus on his problem solving. (So it's not just a hack-and-slash book, but a creative book where you put the pieces together as Dante does. Does that make sense?) Or focus on something else of the character.

Just my thoughts lol. But as I said, the first story was the best so far, mostly because you started building a character. The best tales are led by well-designed characters.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests