Brainniacs!

Do you have a story for a manga you'd like to share or talk about? Then this is the place to be.

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ToaGenesis
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Brainniacs!

Post by ToaGenesis » Mon Jan 10, 2011 4:34 am

Brainniac!

genre: shounen, action, fighting, romance, drama

Plot:Brainniac! Thats the title of a human who can draw out the power of their brains. Since J-day some humans have awaken their brains. This awakening resulted to those individuals having an incredible power.The mystery to this power is still unresolved.
In a little village established by survivers lives a friendly young man named Kazuya. He is known in the village as the most fearsome man. Because he is the only one to have activated his powers in the area. He has been appointed leader ever since his power awakend. Even tough he didnt want to lead the village.
3 years later the people are even more terrified by the name Murasame Kazuya. Because of his cruel reign over the village. And he gains the nickname Kazuya the cruel one.
One day a traveler comes to the village and confronts Kazuya about his ways of ruling the village with his powers. They end up fighting and Kazuya is severly outclassed. The villagers mock him and claim they had nothing to fear.
The next day everyone starts ignoring Kazuya realizing this was not his place to be he leaves the village to become stronger with the resolution to beat everyone up who stands the way of his quest to power.


Comment: Ok first of all id like to let you know that it was my first try. So id appreciate if you give me a detailed comment on what the bad points and what the good points are.

Kyrasity
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Post by Kyrasity » Mon Jan 10, 2011 6:34 am

The story seemed okay until I got to the part when you got to his name. Kazuya. Please tell me you're Japanese so I don't have to double face palm. It's a pet peeze of mine that almost everyone I know that draws manga names all their characters Japanese names. At least it's not set in Japan... right?

ToaGenesis
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Post by ToaGenesis » Wed Jan 12, 2011 1:06 am

its not set in Japan it is set in a ruined Earth. Andd im not Japanese but its actually just a temporary name

Kyrasity
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Post by Kyrasity » Thu Jan 13, 2011 4:38 am

Well that's good. I reccomend you think up your character's past and cultural background. Give him a name that fits the culture.

ToaGenesis
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Post by ToaGenesis » Fri Jan 14, 2011 12:58 am

thx for the advice i will

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