New idea for The Art of Kara

Do you have a story for a manga you'd like to share or talk about? Then this is the place to be.

Moderators: FirstBorn, Zephio, Ceta

Post Reply [phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/vendor/twig/twig/lib/Twig/Extension/Core.php on line 1266: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
MilesStar
Posts: 298
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:54 pm
Location: America
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/vendor/twig/twig/lib/Twig/Extension/Core.php on line 1266: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable

New idea for The Art of Kara

Post by MilesStar » Tue Jun 29, 2010 8:37 pm

Okay, reading your comments on my last thread, I came up with a better storyline and a way to make my character, Kara League, interesting. Here it goes.

Synopsis

When Kara was ten years old, she found her Chinese foster parents murdered by a mysterious person in black. Instead of killing her next, the person decide to let her have her revenge when she is strong enough to fight him. He tells her that she can find him at a school in San Diego, called School of Incredible Arts. Kara makes a vow to avenge her beloved foster parents, but she doesn't know that the murderer plans to set up a trap for her at the school.

Six years later, Kara enters the school that teaches kids how to control their abilities to bring artwork to life. But she is not at the school to learn. She wants to find the mysterious murderer to avenge her dead foster parents. However, nobody knows that the school is secretly recruiting the high school students into a criminal organization that plans to turn them into a super terrorist private army for profit. And it might has connection to the murder of Kara's foster parents.

At the school, Kara befriends two girls, Dima and Lucy, who turn out to be under cover CIA agents investigating the school. Kara also battles some kids with issues and assassins hired by the murderer to get rid of her. No matter what kind of danger she will face, Kara will never leave the school, until she brings the murderer to justice.

End of synopsis

So I decided Kara's goal is revenge and justice. After she avenge her foster parents, she plans to become a professional artist for hire. She doesn't know who her real parents are, but she loved her foster parents very well. I also decided to change her behavior. Kara is girlish and she likes to wear cosplay like clothing; for example, a school sailor uniform. Not only she is a pink head, Kara becomes very serious in a battle, as if her mind changes into a male warrior personalty. Her enemies alway underestimate her, believing at first she is just a weak girl. Kara is a girl on the outside, but a tough determining warrior on the inside.

I also decided to draw the manga of The Art of Kara. I'll post the drawings of it soon. SO what do you think?

rabid panda
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/vendor/twig/twig/lib/Twig/Extension/Core.php on line 1266: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable

Post by rabid panda » Tue Jun 29, 2010 9:28 pm

honestly the whole revenge/murder of parents thing is kinda overdone. like a lot. and dont set the story in high school, its way over played. but the idea of bringing ones art to life is intriguing. mayhap you should scrap the revenge/schoolgirl ideas and focus on the art coming to life aspect.

why not try have here enter a run away world created by her art and have a trippy alice in wonderland type adventure instead? you could do a lot more creatively in a world like that than the typical shitty high school magical girl ass fuck drama.

i will give you this at least you didnt make everyone in the story japanese, which makes this story a million times better than if you had

just my thoughts so take them how you want

MilesStar
Posts: 298
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:54 pm
Location: America
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/vendor/twig/twig/lib/Twig/Extension/Core.php on line 1266: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable

Post by MilesStar » Thu Jul 01, 2010 9:16 pm

rabid panda wrote:honestly the whole revenge/murder of parents thing is kinda overdone. like a lot. and dont set the story in high school, its way over played. but the idea of bringing ones art to life is intriguing. mayhap you should scrap the revenge/schoolgirl ideas and focus on the art coming to life aspect.

why not try have here enter a run away world created by her art and have a trippy alice in wonderland type adventure instead? you could do a lot more creatively in a world like that than the typical shitty high school magical girl ass fuck drama.

i will give you this at least you didnt make everyone in the story japanese, which makes this story a million times better than if you had

just my thoughts so take them how you want

That actually sounds like a better idea than a typical martial art high school plot. It can be like Roger Rabbit meets Alice in Wonderland. I'll come up with this better plot and post it soon. Thank you.
:D

User avatar
iceman
Posts: 62
Joined: Sun Nov 23, 2008 11:27 am
Location: Louisville, KY
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/vendor/twig/twig/lib/Twig/Extension/Core.php on line 1266: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable

Post by iceman » Fri Jul 02, 2010 5:13 am

a girl that can bring artwork to life and is swallowed by her own power...not a bad idea...

rabid panda
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/vendor/twig/twig/lib/Twig/Extension/Core.php on line 1266: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable

Post by rabid panda » Fri Jul 02, 2010 11:46 am

MilesStar wrote:That actually sounds like a better idea than a typical martial art high school plot. It can be like Roger Rabbit meets Alice in Wonderland. I'll come up with this better plot and post it soon. Thank you.
:D
im only here to help. also if you need any help with forulating thr trippy stuff might i suggest LSD?

MilesStar
Posts: 298
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:54 pm
Location: America
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/vendor/twig/twig/lib/Twig/Extension/Core.php on line 1266: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable

Post by MilesStar » Sun Jul 04, 2010 7:38 pm

Happy Fourth of July, and here is what I cam up so far.

The Art of Kara

Summary

Kara League is an amateur artist, who is still in need to improve her artwork. She wants to become a great artist, but she is tire of practicing a lot. When Kara's mother suddenly fall into a coma because her heart went bad, Kara has to come up with a thousand dollars in order for her dying mother to get a heart transplant. By luck, Kara heard there is a manga book contest coming up that will grant the winner fifteen thousand dollars. The prize is enough for Kara to save her mother, but she still larks the still of becoming a professional artist. However, one of her friends tell her that there is a mysterious shop that sells anything that can help a customer. So Kara went to this gift shop and the shop owner named Lady Crone. Kara ask for a tool that can make her a professional artist, and Lady Crone gives her a paint brush that is said to make an artist's work look amazing no matter how amateur the artist is. Kara brought the paint brush and use it to make her own short manga for the contest.

Suddenly after Kara finish her book, a portal appear in her manga book then suck her into her work. Kara now appears in a cartoon world of her manga. She also becomes a cartoon character of herself since she now part of this world. Kara likes her world, but she doesn't want to be trap in her manga forever because her mother is in need of her help. However, she heard there is a demon named Conkano, who can grant a wish to anyone. The wish can be anything, but for a cost, the person must enter Conkano's fighting tournament to prove worthy to Conkano. Now Kara must fight Conkano's seven toon fighters in different environments in order to face him. Will Kara succeed in Conkano's game in order to escape from her manga world? Or will she be trap in her manga forever?

Characters: Kara League, Mrs. League, Lady Crone, Noongey, Jenju, Nurse Bunny, Prof. Owl, Mei Lin, Warshark, Clock Master, Jack Fox, Ms. Widow, Pow Pow, Bulb head, Boo Boo, Poly, and Conkano.

What do you think now? :D

rabid panda
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/vendor/twig/twig/lib/Twig/Extension/Core.php on line 1266: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable

Post by rabid panda » Tue Jul 06, 2010 3:18 am

my opinion?

this is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more complicated than it has to be. i mean it really doesnt make any sense. cut the entire first paragraph out, it does nothing to advance the story and just makes things confusing.

youre putting too much thought into getting this thing down on paper. writing like drawing should flow from you. and seriously a fighting tourament? when the hell did that become orignal?

instead of cluttering things up with a bunch of unnecessary schlock, why not instead have kara already be a professional artist (dont specify what kind of artist she is, let the reader fill that in) have kara working late into the night when she suddenly gets pulled into her current piece of work

think about alice in wonderland, the story wasnt the set up to wonderland it WAS wonderland. who cares what she was doing before she entered the art world? thats not where the interesting stuff happens, its in the art world where the possiblities are endless.

honestly miles i think the best thing you can do with your writing is to minimize what youre trying to convey. you over complicate things, and what i mean by that is its okay to give details but dont give too many. the shorter you can accurately tell your story, the less likely youre going to lose readers along the way. another thing is not everything needs to be explained away, let the reader do some work. also you need to branch out, youre trying way too fucking hard to make this some shohen jump shit. stop. please just stop with that. stop trying to make an awesome manga story and concentrate on just making a good solid story.

do yourself a favor, proofread your stuff, then give it somebody else and have them read it. take their critiques and then give your story to somebody else. trust me your writing will improve dramatically

Kyrasity
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/vendor/twig/twig/lib/Twig/Extension/Core.php on line 1266: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable

Post by Kyrasity » Tue Jul 06, 2010 4:06 am

i agree with panda. i havn't read any of your previous stories but it seems like you keep turning up with very cliche ideas. you should expand your mind to doing things a little different. even if the story basis is cliche you should try to mix it up a little. i think going with the wonderland idea will help you develop as a good story creator. i'm very good at making up original stories so if u ever need some help just ask me. i love talking about stories and art.

MilesStar
Posts: 298
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:54 pm
Location: America
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/vendor/twig/twig/lib/Twig/Extension/Core.php on line 1266: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable

Post by MilesStar » Tue Jul 06, 2010 6:33 pm

Okay, how about this instead.

Kara is a cartoon artist, working on a comic book at home. When she falls asleep, her body mysteriously falls into her work and she appears in her cartoon world. While trapped and confused, Kara wonders through her toon world on a mission to find a way to return home. On the journey while being guided by a furry creature named Noongey, Kara encounters many danger and she uses her wits and tricks to avoid getting eaten, cursed, or becoming a slave to love sick freaks. She also has a paint brush which she can use to create anything in her toon world. Will Kara be able to discover a way to return to reality, or will she be trapped inside her artwork forever.

So instead of a fighting tournament, Kara goes on a journey through her toon world, discovering places and encountering crazy toon characters both friendly and foe. Each danger will be like a typical cartoon conflict where Kara plays as a trickster in order to survive. This will be a three volume graphic novel instead of a written novel because pictures are better than words, even though words can bring the readers into the character's head. :D

Kyrasity
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/vendor/twig/twig/lib/Twig/Extension/Core.php on line 1266: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable

Post by Kyrasity » Thu Jul 08, 2010 1:12 am

this is better. However i'm trying to figure out how you can change the whole point of your stories so dramatically!

MilesStar
Posts: 298
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:54 pm
Location: America
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/vendor/twig/twig/lib/Twig/Extension/Core.php on line 1266: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable

Post by MilesStar » Thu Jul 08, 2010 4:18 am

Kyrasity wrote:this is better. However i'm trying to figure out how you can change the whole point of your stories so dramatically!
Thank you. You'll have to check out my other story ideas to figure them out.

rabid panda
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/vendor/twig/twig/lib/Twig/Extension/Core.php on line 1266: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable

Post by rabid panda » Fri Jul 30, 2010 11:49 am

miles this honestly sounds much better. please continue more in this direction. but remember to not overly complicate things. if you want send me a rough draft and i will give you some constructive critism on it

MilesStar
Posts: 298
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:54 pm
Location: America
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/vendor/twig/twig/lib/Twig/Extension/Core.php on line 1266: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable

Post by MilesStar » Sat Jul 31, 2010 8:41 pm

rabid panda wrote:miles this honestly sounds much better. please continue more in this direction. but remember to not overly complicate things. if you want send me a rough draft and i will give you some constructive critism on it
Thank you. I'm also working on another project, which will be afour issue mini comic book series. Here is the link to the summary of it.

http://www.mangaworkshop.net/phpBB2/vie ... php?t=2831

Post Reply
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/vendor/twig/twig/lib/Twig/Extension/Core.php on line 1266: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/vendor/twig/twig/lib/Twig/Extension/Core.php on line 1266: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest